psychological damage has had any long lasting effects
still remains to be seen. This kind of evaluation
should only be done by professionals. All I know
is – I’m not the man I was. Before the
syndrome known as the “Span Coff Club”
came into being, I was a vibrant, optimistic, fun
loving, confident you man in love. I had met the
sweetest, purest most innocent girl to ever have
come out of York Mills. Little Debbie. And she had
just got her first job – working in the exciting
field of television. At a place called Global.
“It’s a really
tough profession to get through,” I said.
“Find a friend. Someone who can help you through
the dark times.” That friend turned out to
be someone called Broph.
Next thing I know everything
was Broph this and Broph that and Broph did this
and Broph said that. Next thing you know she’ll
be taking you to a bar. For liquor drinks, I thought.
When I got my first call
from the Span Coff Club I was excited. I thought
my sweet Little Debbie had found an organized group,
some new friends to help her get through the loneliness
of being “on the road” with this Wintario
show. Every call from the Span Coff Club made me
feel like a million. She’s working her way
right up through the ranks of this club, I mused.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she ran for president
Well, here’s the irony
of this sad tale. For a man who spent so many years
in the field of comedy, the joke, it turned out,
was on me. For the Span Coff Club was an association
all right – an association predicated on the
consumption of Spanish Coffee drinks! Booze!! Laughs!
Good times! Everything my little Debbie from York
Mills would have shunned, if it hadn’t been
for the unquestionable influence of a certain someone
Well, little Debbie is no
longer the pure innocent thing she was. The Span
Coff Club saw to that. And me? Well, I guess I kinda
lost my faith in humanity. And I guess I got a little
quieter. And perhaps slightly more boring. And my
eyesight got much worse. And I’m still not
getting romantic leads. And I blame the Span Coff
Club, and above all, this someone called Broph.
to "The Friends"